Dating Dating Dating
Hello! Welcome to another wonderful week! I hope you have has some time to go outside and enjoy the beautiful fresh air!
This week in class we had so many good discussions! One person brought up dating in our day and age and especially in our culture. So I wanted to share my thoughts about that today!
Dating in general is weird, it doesn't matter the age. We can all agree that it is sometimes awkward! We hold such high standards to how we want our dating experiences to go. I remember when I turned sixteen, this is when I was allowed to be asked on dates, and go as a group, I knew for a fact that no boy at school was going to ask me on a date! There was no way! This fact was true for about 3 in a half week. Then out of nowhere a boy from my seminary class asked me on a date. And let me tell you I was the definition of awkward. I did not know how to act or respond, because I have never had a boy ask me on a date, that was new territory for me. I remember right after it had happened I texted my mom saying that this boy asked me on a date, she was very excited for me, because for those three weeks I was just complaining that no boy was going to even talk to me. In my culture all these girls around me got asked on their first date the day they turned sixteen, so it was sad for me to not have that happen. It was the stigma that surrounded dating.
Throughout high school my dating bar slowly started going down. When I turned sixteen it was at the very peak, because I had this expectation to be asked on all these dates and by senior year, I had only gone on two maybe three dates the entire year. So as you can tell my bar for dating was almost at zero. This didn't bug me too much because I knew there was hope for after high school.
Now in the church I am a part of which is the Church of Jesus Christ, also known as LDS. There is this stereotype that once you graduate high school, some returned missionary is going to sweep you off your feet and you are going to be married by 19. We are all known for being married so young. So this fact for me was exciting. I was so excited to finally be asked on dates and even maybe get myself a boyfriend.
Now lets fast forward to about 6 months out of high school, and nothing! Not a boyfriend or even getting asked on dates. The boys would only ask to hangout and that would consist of sitting and watching Netflix. So this bar that I had reset back to the peak once I graduated because I thought there was some hope, was now back at zero. So being the person I am I got very discouraged. I was like. "Man this stinks! I thought this was the time in your life where you go on so many dates."
So at this point in my life I was nineteen, and I made the decision to attend Brigham Young University - Idaho. I was so excited because I was going to get an education but also to make new friends and meet new people. As I was starting to get my things to move away from home everyone in my ward talked about how I was just going to come back at the end of the semester and be engaged. BYU- Idaho has this slogan and it goes, " BYU I do". There is a big stereotype for going there and getting married really quickly.
So at this point I was very excited because maybe I would be asked on real dates, not just asked to hangout. So I went there with my bar set high. And guess what I got? I got asked on real dates! I was shocked to the fact that people still did that, but there were still some that asked to hangout and you would just end up watching a movie. But this bar was staying where I set it. This was exciting for me. But in my eyes I was just having fun and finally starting to experience dating and that's not what the boys had in mind, they all wanted to move the relationship so fast! They were definitely the returned missionaries that tried and swept the girls off their feet. But I was not wanting that. So there I was still with no boyfriend! All the stereotypes that were so common I was beating all of them.
Let's fast forward to the present day, about a year later from the previous paragraph and here I am engaged to the love of my life! How exciting, but if you asked a year ago Sydnee if I would be where I am right now, I would laugh in your face. the reason being is because I was setting all these bars and they kept dropping. Once I stopped looking for that perfect boyfriend that I have been wanting since high school, he came out of nowhere.
If there is one thing that I have learned in dating in my culture is that there are all these stereotypes but it is okay if your path looks different than everyone else. Everything in this life happens for a reason so just let life happen and be happy you are able to experience it.
This week in class we had so many good discussions! One person brought up dating in our day and age and especially in our culture. So I wanted to share my thoughts about that today!
Dating in general is weird, it doesn't matter the age. We can all agree that it is sometimes awkward! We hold such high standards to how we want our dating experiences to go. I remember when I turned sixteen, this is when I was allowed to be asked on dates, and go as a group, I knew for a fact that no boy at school was going to ask me on a date! There was no way! This fact was true for about 3 in a half week. Then out of nowhere a boy from my seminary class asked me on a date. And let me tell you I was the definition of awkward. I did not know how to act or respond, because I have never had a boy ask me on a date, that was new territory for me. I remember right after it had happened I texted my mom saying that this boy asked me on a date, she was very excited for me, because for those three weeks I was just complaining that no boy was going to even talk to me. In my culture all these girls around me got asked on their first date the day they turned sixteen, so it was sad for me to not have that happen. It was the stigma that surrounded dating.
Throughout high school my dating bar slowly started going down. When I turned sixteen it was at the very peak, because I had this expectation to be asked on all these dates and by senior year, I had only gone on two maybe three dates the entire year. So as you can tell my bar for dating was almost at zero. This didn't bug me too much because I knew there was hope for after high school.
Now in the church I am a part of which is the Church of Jesus Christ, also known as LDS. There is this stereotype that once you graduate high school, some returned missionary is going to sweep you off your feet and you are going to be married by 19. We are all known for being married so young. So this fact for me was exciting. I was so excited to finally be asked on dates and even maybe get myself a boyfriend.
Now lets fast forward to about 6 months out of high school, and nothing! Not a boyfriend or even getting asked on dates. The boys would only ask to hangout and that would consist of sitting and watching Netflix. So this bar that I had reset back to the peak once I graduated because I thought there was some hope, was now back at zero. So being the person I am I got very discouraged. I was like. "Man this stinks! I thought this was the time in your life where you go on so many dates."
So at this point in my life I was nineteen, and I made the decision to attend Brigham Young University - Idaho. I was so excited because I was going to get an education but also to make new friends and meet new people. As I was starting to get my things to move away from home everyone in my ward talked about how I was just going to come back at the end of the semester and be engaged. BYU- Idaho has this slogan and it goes, " BYU I do". There is a big stereotype for going there and getting married really quickly.
So at this point I was very excited because maybe I would be asked on real dates, not just asked to hangout. So I went there with my bar set high. And guess what I got? I got asked on real dates! I was shocked to the fact that people still did that, but there were still some that asked to hangout and you would just end up watching a movie. But this bar was staying where I set it. This was exciting for me. But in my eyes I was just having fun and finally starting to experience dating and that's not what the boys had in mind, they all wanted to move the relationship so fast! They were definitely the returned missionaries that tried and swept the girls off their feet. But I was not wanting that. So there I was still with no boyfriend! All the stereotypes that were so common I was beating all of them.
Let's fast forward to the present day, about a year later from the previous paragraph and here I am engaged to the love of my life! How exciting, but if you asked a year ago Sydnee if I would be where I am right now, I would laugh in your face. the reason being is because I was setting all these bars and they kept dropping. Once I stopped looking for that perfect boyfriend that I have been wanting since high school, he came out of nowhere.
If there is one thing that I have learned in dating in my culture is that there are all these stereotypes but it is okay if your path looks different than everyone else. Everything in this life happens for a reason so just let life happen and be happy you are able to experience it.
Comments
Post a Comment